


Sweet As Pumpkin Pie

by TheMockingCrows



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dubious Consent, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2013-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-17 11:43:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/867148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMockingCrows/pseuds/TheMockingCrows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a trickster, Jake has some rather specific ideas about how to make Dirk excited to enter into a plural marriage with himself, Roxy and Jane. It all comes down to convincing Dirk with some.. rather unorthodox methods.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweet As Pumpkin Pie

“Come now, Strider. Don't you WANT to be married? I'm sure we'd have a ripsnorting good time!” Jake said as he crawled forwards, the knees of his striped socks getting dirty in his attempts to crawl atop Dirk's torso. It was turning into an increasingly quick chase now, Dirk putting up one hell of a fight to crab walk away as quickly as possible.

Jake had hoped that with Roxy and Jane entertaining each other in the other room, he'd be able to convince Dirk to join them. Maybe even get a little fun in the meantime. After all, he'd not seemed that interested in joining when Roxy offered to kiss him.. maybe he just needed a little firmer persuasion. And some touching. Yes, some firm, decisive touching would surely do the trick.

Nothing wrong with being assertive, especially when it meant getting your more than hesitant boyfriend to join in copious amounts of what was sure to be sugar coated polygamist bliss. They were all so happy and excited, and Dirk was.. not. He was his same reserved, depressive, tense self. His refusal of Roxy while shouting that he had a sharp sword was the liveliest that Jake had seen him in ages!

“Even if I WANTED to, you're not really giving me a fucking choice, English. If I wanted to get married, I sincerely doubt that it would be while you were under the influence of whatever the hell decided to implant itself into your brain, and I also sincerely doubt that it would be in a plural situation,” Dirk said as he continued to scoot backwards on his ass and hands. His shoulders were rising up to his ears protectively, trying to shrink down. Not wanting to fight him unless he had to.

“You're so much like a cat, you know that Dirk?” Jake cooed, lunging forwards swiftly to latch onto one of his drawn back hands and force it down with his weight. His right hand raised to stroke along Dirk's stomach, petting him from chest to groin as he made a strangled noise and tried to struggle further back from the touch. The manic grin twitched ever wider.

Oh, good. He wanted to play.

“A cat, Jake? Really? From where I'm looking, I'm a fly as hell mouse being played with by a cat tweaking out of his mind on magical bullshit,” Dirk grated out between clenched teeth, swatting at the hand that was intent on disappearing beneath the dark fabric of his tank top. Were it anyone else, he would have punched him square in between the eyes. Anyone but Jake. Anyone but one of his friends, strained dating situation or not.

The kiss was quick as lightning, Jake capturing Dirk's lips and holding them as his hand changed direction and dove down the front of his pants instead. When he hissed in surprise, Jake drove his tongue forward to taste at his mouth, licking at his palette till the blonde was shuddering beneath him. So rare that he'd do that.. Normally he was the assertive one, leading the touching, the kissing, the grinding turned heavy petting. Dirk usually topped as well when they had sex, not wanting to give up control in the slightest. In most cases, Jake didn't mind in the slightest, content to go along with his lead and enjoy what he was able to teach or attempt.

Now things were different. Jake was certain he knew a few things that Dirk didn't now, and oh boy was he going to surely love them!

He was sweet as candy, cloying as pumpkin pie without enough spice as he explored Dirk's mouth, twining their tongues together before suckling as his fingers splayed wide to better feel his lovers lower abdomen with its crisp covering of pale hair. Deeper.. deeper.. When Dirk arched his back and rocked his hips sharply a few times in reaction, Jake knew he'd hit pay dirt and pulled back from Dirk's lips with a pleased smile. Those pretty, pale lips would bruise up beautifully.

Surely well placed bruises would count as some form of wedding vow. Oh, the girls were going to be so happy! They'd all wind up married and perfect and happy, and Jake was ever so certain he could make them all content forever.

Even now he could see Dirk was struggling to decide if he really hated this or not, not saying no now that his mouth was uncovered, trying to get his arm loose instead. There was no more reaching into his pants to fish out Jake's nimble fingers, or cursing him to stop and leave him be. In fact, the only noise Dirk was making now was a strained moaning groaning sort of noise, high up then sliding down to lower groans as he hesitantly began to rock his hips.

“That's right, chap. Just give in. I'm sure you'll love it!” Jake giggled loudly, making the rocking motion stutter to a halt till he squeezed Dirk none too gently to encourage him into activity once more. With Strider still fighting his mental battle, Jake took his weight off the trapped gloved hand and put it to better use, unbuttoning the dark jeans that prevented him from being more dextrous in his making his boyfriend writhe.

“Hey. HEY,” Dirk managed to get out before his mouth was covered again by the creepy grin, pants being yanked down far enough to let Jake bend his wrist, starting up a steady motion with his loosely clenched fist.

“Hey, what? Hey you're happy to see me? Hey kiss me some more?” Jake teased when he decided Dirk needed some air with all the whining and writhing he was starting to do the longer he worked his hand up and down his length. “Hey I've got a delightful boner that's really easy on the eyes?”

And the mouth. But that was hardly anything new, Dirk was well aware of his finesse with his mouth. He'd personally requested it a good number of times, actually! Must be good stuff. However, never had he gone out of his way to offer that particular source of pleasure to Dirk unless they were already in the midst of a heavy make-out session, by request, or when they were already naked. Holding Dirk down and making him writhe seemed like such a fun idea. Why had Jake never thought to do it before?

It must be the pumpkin, and the polygamy rising to the occasion, or maybe this whole feeling of rainbows being forced into his skull and down out of his frightfully short pants that had him alight with such positively deviant idea. One or the other. Or maybe it had been there all along, and all he needed was a bit of focus to make it really come to light?

Maybe this was what needed to happen. Maybe this would make their relationship problems work themselves out, and everything would wind up fine! He didn't want to leave anymore now, that's for certain. Get Dirk feeling as happy as he was, and as Roxy and Jane were? He'd feel the same.

Jake was sure of it.

“A-..ah.. Jake, jus-.. nnghh..”

“Aww, Dirk, you can barely talk! Feline got your tongue, there? Don't worry. Once you're happy and we're all married, everything will be so much better,” Jake said as assurance aloud once more. Somewhere a tiny voice in his mind said it wouldn't. He was wrong. Shaking off the brief invasive thought, Jake grinned wider. “Why don't you be a good man and come for me then, eh Strider?”

“Ffffuck... off,” Dirk managed to force out as his breathing gave way to gasping. This was so fucked up. All of it was so terribly fucked up he couldn't even comprehend it. All he could hope for was that AR would continue to be on mute for a while, either self imposed or not. He was already feeling guilty as fuck for letting this continue while Jake wasn't in his right mind, Dirk didn't need to have AR himself bothering the fuck out of him and making it worse up in his head.

“Later, you eager thing. Later,” Jake said. His face looked almost broken from how big the smile stretched once Dirk looked up with concern.

Oh, fuck. So that's how far this was going? Was he okay with that? He wasn't sure. None of this was really okay, but in a fucked up way.. it wasn't bad enough to make him panic yet. This was still a situation he felt in control in. He'd be able to stop this if it went too fa- and that was Jake's mouth trailing down his chest and stomach wasn't it.

Jake had started at Dirk's neck, kissing and biting and licking as he went downwards along his chest and the flat planes of his stomach, kissing the soft line along the side of his groin before going to his bellybutton. From there it was just a pleasant ride down a quickly rising and falling path of curls before he could wrap his lips around the head of Dirk's dick and begin sucking without pre-amble. He was sweet as a lollipop and twice as hard by now, narrow legs spreading awkwardly alongside Jake's head, knees raising on instinct to let him in closer.

Such a good boy. Obedient without even being given an order.. Perfect, perfect. Lovely. With his mouth full, Jake couldn't give Dirk the compliments that he wanted to give him so badly, or the commentary he was dying to let out, so he allowed his mouth to do the actual work. In seconds, he'd gone from suckling at the head of his boyfriends dick to slipping down to the root and swallowing the length down his throat.

“Jake, what the fuc-AGH!” Dirk cried, hips bucking wildly a few times before he could stop them, pushing and shoving at Jake's head. He avoided the pumpkin, not wanting to break it, concerned with what would happen if he did. Jake urged him to continue the awkward pace as he bobbed his head steadily, alternating with swallowing. His hands clasped Dirk's ass and lifted in time, trying to make him continue on his own.

Dirk could almost hear his chiding voice urging him to not be such a stick in the mud.

Though, after a few tense, perspiring minutes of such exotic motions (had Jake always known how to move his tongue like that?) there was no voice but his own crying out as he reached a surprisingly quick orgasm. The taste of the forbidden, of the new, of the familiar intermingling had pushed him over the edge and nearly out of sanity.

Jake devoured it like it was sweet ambrosia, taking his time even after he pulled off his softening member to lick up and down the sides. He tongued at his testicles when they twitched, and sat back on his knees to let the blonde catch his breath.

For a minute or so.

Then his hand was right back on the overly sensitive length, rubbing and touching and fondling as though he were unaware what a raw nerve he was touching despite Dirk's breathless insistence against it. Jake could hear the girls excited banter approaching quickly, knew they'd be right in the thick of it soon enough. Better for the marriage, surely! Dirk didn't seem as enthused anymore, one hand trying to cover his nakedness while the left pushed and shoved at Jake's face.

“Is he ready now?” Roxy asked, floating over excitedly to try seeing what was happening better. Dirk squawked when he saw her yank his hand back out of the way and grin before breaking out into peals of laughter. “Oh, gosh, maybe we got here too late! Janey, Janey you gotta see this.”

“No, she hasn't got to see a damned thing!” Dirk defended irritably, dropping his chin to his chest as he yanked his hand free from her grip.

“Not quite yet, love. Just a moment. Should be right as rain shortly,” Jake said as he leaned forward to sweetly bite at the insides of Dirk's pale thighs, littering them with bruises and marks. The path wound forward as he scooted up close, looming over his chest.

“Oh I do hope so. We've a multiple wedding to do, and babies to have! Millions of them, golly!” Jane giggled excitedly and bobbed around after allowing herself a good view of what Roxy had seen. Jake just grinned and nodded in agreement, kissing at Dirk's throat before biting it solidly when he squeezed his cock once more.

Dirk squirmed, hesitant to fight back even now. Part of him was curious to see what it would be like, what Jake would be like while he was out of his head on whatever was eating his and the girls' minds. The other part was afraid he'd pull on his dick and not stop until it had been removed if startled too badly.

Orange eyes widened to look into shock green when he heard the zipper Jake's fly open, no move made to remove the suspenders or anything else.

“Jake, wha-..”

“Oh come now, Strider! We're to be married. It's only proper,” he smiled. “I'll be certain you'll enjoy it old boy. I'm only sorry it's taking so long to make you good and happy! Just give me a bit of time, and I'll show you how fun it's going to be. I can show the girls what I'll be able to bring as well!”

Dirk let his mouth flap a few times before forcing it shut. No. Stop, brain. Shut up, logic. Let him have this. Just.. let his curiosity be sated, if nothing else then for science. Then let Roxy blast his brain with candy dust. Maybe then he'd be happy, and everything will have worked out.

“Alright, English. I'm game,” Dirk said quietly as he let his posture relax. “Make me believe in magic.”

Jake's grin was sweet as candy coated rat poison as he rose up, thick lashed eyelids falling to half mast as he softly purred.

“I'll make you believe in more than that, Strider. Trust me.”

**Author's Note:**

> original tumblr post- http://themockingcrows.tumblr.com/post/54450647033/sweet-as-pumpkin-pie


End file.
